Consent & Sexual Abuse

Consent

• Consent allows both partners to openly express to each other what they want to experience, the saying ‘yes means yes’ can be empowering and useful in thinking about what consent is.
• Consent is ongoing and both partners should keep giving and seeking consent, just because you’ve given consent to an act before, doesn’t mean it becomes a ‘given’ every time.
• Consent is not a free pass as saying yes to one act doesn’t mean you are giving consent to other acts. Each act requires its own consent.
• Your relationship status does not make consent automatic, if you are married, friends or dating someone it doesn’t mean they ‘own’ your consent by default or that you ‘own’ theirs.
• There’s no such thing as implied consent as the absence of a ‘no’ does not equal a ‘yes’ and consent can also be taken back at any time – even if you are in the midst of something and feeling uncomfortable, you always have the right to stop, to change your mind and say ‘no’.
• It’s not consent if you’re afraid to say no, if you’re being manipulated, pressured or threatened to say yes. It’s also not consent if you or a partner is unable to legitimately give consent, which includes being asleep, unconscious, under the influence of conscious-altering substances or not able to understand what saying yes entails.
• If anyone involved isn’t consenting, then what is happening is, or could be, rape, sexual assault or abuse.

 

Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse is the general term used to describe all forms of non-consensual sexual contact. This may include:

• Being pressured to have sex
• Being pressured to have unsafe or unprotected sex
• Forcing you to have sex
• Rape
• Being touched in inappropriate or unwanted ways
• Being pressured to meet unwanted sexual demands
• Forcing you to engage in prostitution or pornography
• Preventing access to birth control
• Documenting sexual acts without your permission
• Sharing documentation of sexual acts without your permission
• Removing a condom during sex without consent (known as ‘stealthing’’)

Sexual Violence

This includes any form of unwanted sexual act or activity, which may be physical or non-physical, that takes place without someone’s full, informed consent. There are many different types of sexual violence. These may include, but are not limited to:

• Rape – the legal definition of rape is when a person intentionally penetrates another’s vagina, anus, or mouth with a penis, without the other person’s consent.
• Sexual assault – refers to any form of sexual act undertaken without consent and includes a wide variety of behaviours, such as: unwanted touching or kissing, making someone touch themselves or others sexually, attempted rape, touching someone’s clothes if done in a sexual manner, for example, lifting someone’s skirt.
• Sexual harassment – refers to any unwanted sexual behaviour that makes someone feel scared, intimidated, offended, or humiliated and includes a wide range of behaviours, such as: sexual innuendos or suggestive comments, sexual gestures, sexual ‘jokes’, sending messages with unwanted sexual context, commenting on someone’s body or appearance, indecent exposure whether in person or online, taking a photo under another person’s clothing, known as ‘up-skirting’.
• Child sexual abuse – this refers to any form of coercion of children into sexual situations. This could be by an adult or an older child and is an abuse of power and trust. Child sexual exploitation (CSE) is also a type of child abuse. This is when a child or young person is forced or encouraged to take part in sexual activity in exchange for something, for example, presents, money or emotional attention.
• Trafficking – human trafficking is a form of modern slavery. It refers to the movement of people from one place to another, either within or across countries, into conditions or exploitation against their will. This can include sexual exploitation, where survivors are forced to perform non-consensual sexual acts, such as prostitution, escorting, or pornography.
• Sexual exploitation – is where survivors are forced to perform non-consensual sexual acts against their will. This may include: prostitution, rape, escorting, sexual assault, sexual photography or online streaming, being forced to take part in or watch pornography, witnessing sexual acts or being coerced into having sex or performing sexual acts.
• Spiking – is when someone exposes another person to drugs or alcohol without their knowledge or consent. Most commonly, this is through adding substances to drinks. These substances can be colourless, odourless and tasteless, making them very difficult to detect.