About Domestic Abuse

Domestic Abuse can happen to anyone

Domestic abuse happens in all cultures and social groups. Although domestic abuse can happen to anyone, it disproportionately affects women. Children and young people are badly affected by living with and witnessing domestic abuse, and young people can be vulnerable to abuse in their own relationships.

Domestic abuse is usually hidden. It can occur within the family home behind closed doors and without witnesses, or elsewhere, and often continues after a relationship between the survivor and perpetrator is over.

Domestic abuse is different from augments or bad behaviour within a relationship or from someone having a bad temper, it is all about power and control, a pattern of bullying and threats designed to take control of your life away from you.

Your partner may be cruel, controlling and dominant with you but able to control their behaviour outside of the home and even appear loving and sociable in front of others, leaving you fearful that no-one would believe you. The abuser belittles you and hurts you to show you who is in control and to frighten you into behaving how they want you to behave. They may blame outside circumstances, (such as stress, poor mental health, substance misuse or ‘you’), but outside circumstances don’t cause domestic abuse. If your partner bullies, controls, threatens or hurts you to make you do what they want, it is because they choose to behave in this way.

If you are experiencing domestic abuse, you may feel frightened, confused or ashamed, but many others have been in your position, it is not your fault and you are not alone. You have a right to feel safe and to live fear free.  There is help and support available from people who will believe you and who understand how devastating abuse can be.

What is Domestic Abuse?

The UK government’s definition of domestic violence is ‘any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are, or have been, intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality’.