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Children and Young People

There is no such thing as indirect impact of violence and abuse on children and young people.

Experiencing and witnessing domestic abuse is child abuse.

The emotional safety and well-being of children and young people is severely undermined as a result of experiencing, living with, or witnessing domestic abuse. Some children may be directly physically or sexually abused by the perpetrator. Young people may also be experiencing or perpetrating abuse in their own relationships. Children and Young People are survivors in their own right.

Are you a young person?

If you are a child or young person worried about what’s happening at home

Are you worried about domestic abuse at home or think you may be in an unhealthy relationship? Help and advice is available for you.

It takes a lot of courage to ask for help but talking to someone can help you cope with difficulties. Finding the right person you feel comfortable with is important and some children and young people feel it’s easier talking to someone who doesn’t know them.

Who can you talk to?

There are a lot of places to get support and advice on domestic abuse, such as talking to:

      Sometimes it is difficult to say what is on your mind, here are a couple of suggestions on how to start a conversation:

      • “I’m really worried about my mum and feel scared when the fighting starts”
      • “I’m finding it hard to concentrate at school because I’m worried about problems at home”

      If you are a young person worried about your or someone else’s relationship

      What is domestic abuse?

      Domestic abuse is about one person misusing power and control over another; it is not normal and never okay.

      If you are in a relationship with someone, you should feel:

      • loved
      • trusted
      • safe
      • respected
      • free to be yourself

      If your relationship leaves you feeling:

      • scared
      • intimidated
      • controlled

      then it’s possible you are experiencing domestic abuse.

      Sometimes domestic abuse can be hard to see, especially if you have strong feelings for that person. It can take many form, such as physical, emotional, financial, and sexual abuse.

      Emotional Abuse

      • telling you that nobody likes you
      • making you stay away from your friends and family
      • someone telling you not, to be friends with certain people

      Physical abuse:

      • hitting you
      • kicking you
      • pulling your hair
      • burning you

      Financial abuse

      • making you give them money
      • forcing you to pay for everything

      Sexual Abuse

      • making you do anything sexual that you do not want to, for example, engaging in sexual acts or watching pornography

      On line digital abuse

      • checking your phone or other devices
      • stopping you from accessing your devices
      • tacking you via your devices
      • accessing your social media without your consent

      If you have a lot of ‘yes’ answers to the questions, and someone you know demonstrates a lot of those traits, this is an indicator that they may need to consider the impact of their behaviour on others. It is important to point out that we may all carry out some of these behaviours, whether done infrequently or in a light-hearted way. However, if they are being used to control another person, this could be an indicator of an abusive relationship.

      Safety Comes First

      If you or someone you know is in an abuse relationship, there are few things you can do:

      Are you are a parent or carer?

      If you are a parent who is concerned about a child or young person who may be experiencing domestic abuse or at risk of harm, you should contact the police and obtain urgent legal advice by calling 999.

      For advice, information and support, contact the Live Fear Free Helpline – a free, 24/7 service that supports everyone, whether you are experiencing abuse yourself, or are concerned about someone you know, the helpline can listen to your concerns and signpost if necessary.

        Signs that your teenager may be in an abusive relationship:

        Abusive relationships can be hard to articulate for both the young person and the parent. Young people learn how to form relationships from what they see around them. As such, it is important to teach young people what healthy and unhealthy relationships look like, and to how to spot abusive behaviour.

        Some indicators of unhealthy relationships include:

        • isolation – no longer spending time with you or their usual circle of friends
        • being withdrawn or quieter than usual
        • being angry or irritable when asked how things are
        • anxiety around ‘phone-free time’
        • sudden unexplained personality changes, mood swings, or seeming insecure
        • making excuses for a partner
        • physical signs of injury
        • truancy
        • drug and alcohol dependency
        • self-harm or suicidal thoughts

        Signs that your teenager may have concerning attitudes and behaviours:

        • believing they have the right to control others
        • displaying masculinity through physical aggression is okay
        • demanding intimacy
        • believing they will lose respect if attentive and supporting to parents/carers
        • believing men and women are not equal

        What you can do to help:

        • talk to them about healthy relationships e.g., what should they expect
        • talk to them generally – build trust and openness with your teenager
        • model healthy relationships
        • get them specialist support, for example, from local domestic abuse services
        • give them advice on calling ChildLine: 0800 11 11
        • give them the Live Fear Free Helpline: 0808 80 10 800

        Contact MFCC: Telephone: 01686 629114, email: enquiries@familycrisis.co.uk

        Montgomeryshire Family Crisis Centre
        Chapel Offices
        Park Street
        Newtown
        Powys
        SY16 1EE

        Registered Charity in England & Wales
        Registered Charity No: 1124411
        Company Limited by Guarantee 6553792